Randy Shrophsire/Peacock via Getty Tamra Judge offered a look into a vulnerable therapy session in the the season 19 premiere ofThe Real Housewives of Orange Countyon Thursday, July 10 She attributed her poor mental health to the strain of facing her past traumas for the first time She also spoke about the public outrage following her October 2024 claims that she was "on the spectrum" — a term that refers to Autism spectrum disorder Tamra Judgeis opening up about her mental health and inadvertently sparking controversy over her past claims that she had autism. On the season 19 premiere ofThe Real Housewives of Orange Countyon Thursday, July 10, Tamra had an emotional conversation with her therapist about the emotional challenges she was facing. Teary-eyed, the 57-year-old confessed that she had "been crying since last week's session." "I realized that you have to dig up those things that are buried deep inside of you, because those are the things that come out when you get angry," she said, noting she has spent her past four months in therapy "just talking about stuff that I don't want to talk about." Monica Schipper/Getty She cited her past custody battle with ex-husband Simon Barney, her estranged daughter Sidney "leaving me" and the absence of her father as some of the stressful topics she was afraid to approach. "My sensory issues are heightened, my intrusive thoughts are out of control right now," she revealed. "And we talked about unprocessed trauma and whether or not the spectrum was part of this, because the symptoms can also mimic that," her therapist explained. "There's too many variables. It's hard to say until you get an assessment." In October 2024, the reality star washit with public criticism when she claimedthat she was "on the spectrum" — a term that refers to Autism spectrum disorder — after just one therapy session and no formal diagnosis. According to theNational Institute of Mental Health, this is a neurological and developmental condition that impacts a person's behavioral, social and communication patterns, with a wide range of symptoms and severity. "I had gone home and went on my podcast, and I misspoke. I shouldn't have said anything," Tamra acknowledged. "I just got annihilated, publicly annihilated. I had a really s---- last year." At the time,she told PEOPLEthat she had "no time to process things" when she recorded thatpodcast episodeand admitted she didn't fully understand what being "on the spectrum" meant. However, people questioned her intentions and doubted her honesty. "It was really hurtful," Tamra said. "People think that I don't have feelings, and it's not true. I'm tired of being called a horrible human being because I'm not." Denise Truscello/Getty Thinking back to that day, she recalled "talking about not wanting to be so responsive, impulsive, explosive and harsh with my words," which she believes is a result of her past experiences. "I'm so afraid if I get close to people, they'll turn on me," she conceded. "So I just keep a wall up so they don't get close. I don't nurture my friendships. I think my biggest struggle is trusting people. I've got very few people that I can really talk to." "I just don't want to lash out when I'm mad, even if somebody's done me wrong," she added. "I want to fix things." Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE's free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The Real Housewives of Orange Countyairs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo, and can be streamed the next day on Peacock. Read the original article onPeople
