Getty A man says that he and his fiancée currently live in separate places, and she's upset that he wants to move into their new shared apartment before her The man explained that she has not been able to pack due to a busy schedule, whereas he is ready to go The 30-year-old detailed his story on a popular Reddit forum, where most commenters said they could see things from both perspectives A man says his fiancée is upset that he plans to move into theirnew apartmentbefore her — and he's not sure who is in the wrong. The 30-year-old detailed his story on the popular Reddit forum,"Am I the A------,"a place where people can go to seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In his post, the man said that he and his 27-year-old fiancée bought an apartment together the previous year and have spent "about six months and a lot of money to get the apartment ready and habitable." He said they have been living separately with their parents while they worked on the apartment and that they finally finished thelast few renovationsneeded to make the place move-in ready. "Recently, I brought up that once it is habitable, I am planning to move in," the original poster (OP) said. Getty However, he said that his fiancée seemed "taken aback" by the comment and told him, "It is OUR place, and we should move in together." "While I do agree with her that it is our home, I don't really see anything wrong withmoving inbefore her, as it would also allow me to help her move in," the OP continued, adding that he is "very unhappy" with his current living situation and "cannot wait" to move out. The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! The Redditor also explained that his fiancée has been unable to focus on move prep because she has her hands full with work and studies. He, however, has already been bringing over some of his items and non-essentials to the new place. "She gets upset at the thought of [me] living inour apartmentby myself without her there," he said, adding, "I just can't stand the thought of having a 'ready-to-move-into' apartment and not being able to move in just because she gets upset at not moving in at the same time." Getty "I'm torn on whether I should insist on moving without her and wait for her there, or if I should just wait it out a bit longer until she is in a position to be able to move," he continued. "She also has not provided a date or a general idea of when she would be able to move, which also concerns me a bit," he added before asking, "WIBTA [would I be the a------] if I insist on moving in when I am readyand [have] packed up everything?" The majority of commenters said they could see the situation from both perspectives and that no one is entirely at fault. "NAH [no a------ here]," one person said. "She has a specific vision in her head of abig romantic moment, and given how big a moment it would really be, it's perfectly understandable. You're not wrong for wanting to move into the living space you now have, either. Try to work with her to develop a new Big Romantic Plan that involves you being there first." Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE's free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Another person said, "She probably has a vision of decorating, arranging furniture, window dressings, decor. It's going to be harder to do if your things are already there. Find out which specific thing is disappointing [to her] about you moving in first." The same person added, "Maybe there'sa compromisewhere you move in some basics like bed, couch, etc., and keep most things packed so that there can still be the excitement of her plans and vision." Read the original article onPeople
